Tonight, I heard Gronkle barking (he’s the best watch dog), so I turned off the fans that we keep on the computers to keep them cool so I could listen.  Heard Scarlett neigh again.  Aidan and I went out on the porch, and heard scuffling behind the water tank.  At least the car alarm didn’t go off.

Anyway, so I called the police because Aidan gets really rattled and hoped that it would scare Idiot Creep off so we wouldn’t be up all night checking outside and listening.

The same officer came out, although this time he was alone.  The dispatcher stayed on the phone with me until he got here and I gave her the stalker information again.  She was very nice and a good dispatcher, which counts for a lot when you call all the time because of an Idiot fool Creep.

The officer walked around the yard and checked things out with us, was actually one of the better policeman, and then after checking things thoroughly he went down the road to the dead end and then along the road across the field.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful.


However, tonight, at about 11:30 p.m., Gronkle started barking while Aidan was asleep.  He was sort of awake.  I went into the kitchen and listened at the kitchen window since I had it open to cool things down from today.  I was standing there quietly when I heard a man’s voice say, “come over here”.  I couldn’t tell if it was right there in the yard, or right outside the fence.  It actually sounded like it was in the yard, but I didn’t tell Aidan that because I didn’t want him to get upset.  He gets really upset and can’t calm down very easily, and I can’t blame him a bit.

His job is to carry the baseball bat.

Well, now I’m going to have to spend more money, and get motion activated lights on the outside of the house.   We’ll both feel a lot better with bear spray.  My small pepper spray isn’t enough to make me feel safe for both of us.

Also, I’m worried that calling the police has given Idiot Creep more Narcissistic Supply, because the always ask me for his name, address, date of birth, the truck he drives, etc. and I worry a bit that they are going to contact him, which, I know without a doubt gives him great satisfaction and encourages him to continue.

I go back into horrible alert mode.  Not healthy for me or especially for Aidan.  He needs to feel safe.

Anyway, we both went out in the yard and looked around, this time I let Gronkle out just to see where he would go.  I have to keep an eye on him because he’s small and I don’t want anything to happen to him if he does run into Idiot Creep in the dark.

I then came in the house and put Brat on a leash and let Hank run with Gronkle to see where he would go.  That ended very badly because he hunted down a baby rabbit and killed it.  Tyler taught him to do that and I hate that.  He’s a hunting dog, bred to have a soft mouth.  My other weimaraners were so soft mouthed they would catch a live chicken and bring it to you without a feather missing.  Not Hank and Brat.  Hard mouthed, mainly from learning to be “varmint” hunters from Tyler who would have killed anything he could catch.  I don’t know who had him before we rescued him, but we know it was a man in his 20’s; he probably thought it was great fun to encourage him to chase small animals.  Defined as you basic grade Idiot.

I feel horrible about the poor little baby rabbit.  We have a ton of rabbits in the yard since I don’t let the dogs run around and chase them so it probably thought it was perfectly safe.  I don’t think the coyotes get in the yard very often anymore since I had the fence put back up.  Poor little thing.  I don’t mind them because the weeds need eating and I think they are very cute.

And I thought Hank was following a scent, maybe of someone who had been in the yard.

No more Hank running loose at night.

I’m making a list of necessities to help with the problem.  It makes me very angry because I know his main purpose is to force me to spend money, by vandalizing and forcing me to deal with his scumbag self.

I start thinking about that, and then I can get into a very dark place of rage and fury, and cynicism.

I start thinking about my family, and the way my brother blamed me for being stalked.  Badmouthed me to my father and did his best to minimize it, dismiss it, and influence the rest of the family to do the same.

Example?  I had to leave my exercise bike at my mom’s house when I left to get away from Idiot Creep after he made his suicidal gesture and I called the cops, etc. etc. etc.  She wanted me to leave it there because she said she wanted to use it.  

Instead of using it, she put it on her porch.  It sat on her porch next to the house.  When I came back from being out of the country, I saw that the heavy plastic body was melted all over, melted with large holes and the plastic had dripped down.  The porch underneath it was burned through all the way, leaving holes in the porch also.

I asked my mom what happened to it.  She said that she though Jeff had thrown battery acid on it in a rage while I was gone.  He had come to her house repeatedly, ranting and raving and telling lies.  Of course, she didn’t call the police.  She just let him show up, tell his diabolical tales, and then told him to get lost.  Even though I had told her to never open the door, never have any contact whatsoever, and to call the police at any sight of him, especially since I had a temporary restraining order on him at the time.

When Bruce came over, I showed him the exercise bike.  His response?  That wasn’t battery acid that melted the body of the bike into a creepy mess with holes.  His son had been spraying cleaning stuff around on the porch.  That’s what did it.  Yeah.  Invalidation anyone?  Colossal invalidation anyone?  But, that is one of the least displays of invalidation dear older brother has done.

When I saw the melted stationary bike, I remembered a story Idiot Creep had told me before.  He told me he had never finished high school, because he had been expelled.  Why?  Well, there was another student at his school whose family had a lot of money.  They bought a very, very nice muscle car for their son for his birthday and to celebrate him getting his driver’s license.  The car was Idiot Creep’s “dream car”.  

This enraged Idiot Creep.  His response was to mix up a batch of battery acid that his chemistry teacher had taught the class how to make.  He took the acid and dropped it in the center of the hood of the brand new car of his classmate.  It burned a hole right through the hood, the engine, and down to the ground, ruining it. 

The school found out it was Idiot Creep who did it.  The chemistry teacher who had given Idiot Creep this knowledge was fired, and IC was expelled in his junior year of high school.

Such a nice story, hmmm?

Then, mixed with all of my other terrifying experiences connected to Idiot Creep, it was beyond terrifying for me to see my exercise bike like that.  Somehow, it made me feel sick that my own brother came up with that “explanation”.  He accomplished so much hatefulness in that one explanation.  Implied stupidity on my part being one of them.

Probably the worst thing about his dismissal and minimization was that it took away any support for me, and, that it kept me in more denial than I was already in about the danger and damage to my life from being stalked by Idiot Creep.  More on that later.  Makes me feel sick to my stomach.